Contents
If your first line isn’t a winner it can be a deal-breaker. So, in other words, either really good or really bad. I tend to write my blog posts off the top of my head, typing out whatever first line comes to me at the time, but if you’re writing fiction for publication, you may want to put a bit more thought into it. Writing first lines is hard, but writing first lines is important.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve changed the entire first chapter of my YA novel, let alone the first line… I honestly can’t tell you.
What I can tell you, is that the first line sets the tone for the rest of the piece. It’s where the reader makes their first judgement (and by ‘first line’, I don’t necessarily only mean one sentence).
It may be one sentence or several. It must capture the reader’s attention, it must capture the essence of the story, and it must provide a smooth transition into the body of the story.
The Concise Guide to Copy Editing, Paul LaRocque
Ideas for writing first lines
I came across a few suggestions to help you when writing first lines, and I’ve interpreted the suggestions in a way that works best for me (with examples). And guess what? Many first lines I found in fiction fit these suggestions.
1. Name
Bring attention to the character and their name. Straight away, you’re introducing them, sharing information about how they think, their confidence, their perspective or their circumstances. Characters draw the reader in emotionally, so introducing them is always a good starting point. There are so many examples of this:
“Call me Ishmael.”
Moby Dick, Herman Melville (1851)
“There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.”
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, C. S. Lewis
“Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her.”
Emma, Jane Austen
“On those cloudy days, Robert Neville was never sure when sunset came, and sometimes they were in the streets before he could get back.”
I am Legend, Richard Matheson
“The Mole had been working very hard all the morning, spring-cleaning his little home.”
The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
“This is George. He lived in Africa.”
Curious George, H.A. Rey
“When Mary Lennox was sent to Misselthwaite Manor to live with her uncle everybody said she was the most disagreeable-looking child ever seen.”
The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
“Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmond, and Lucy.”
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, C. S. Lewis
“When Mr Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.”
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien
“Lyra and her daemon moved through the darkening hall, taking care to keep to one side, out of sight of the kitchen.”
The Golden Compass, Philip Pullman
“Mr Sherlock Holmes, who was usually very late in the mornings, save upon those not infrequent occasions when he stayed up all night, was seated at the breakfast table.”
The Hound of the Baskervilles, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
“Nancy Drew, an attractive girl of eighteen, was driving home along a country road in her new, dark-blue convertible.”
Nancy Drew: The Secret of the Old Clock, Carolyn Keene
“That Spot! He hasn’t eaten his supper. Where can he be?”
Where’s Spot?, Eric Hill
2. Description
Highlight an interesting object, sound, smell or visual element that has the character’s attention. This introduces the environment, the tone and the atmosphere of the world the story takes place in; sometimes, it also introduces the character’s (or narrator’s) perspective or opinion of their world.
“The candleflame and the image of the candleflame caught in the pierglass twisted and righted when he entered the hall and again when he shut the door.”
All the Pretty Horses, Cormac McCarthy
“The studio was filled with the rich odour of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden, there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate perfume of the pink-flowering thorn.”
The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde
“The final dying sounds of their dress rehearsal left the Laurel Players with nothing to do but stand there, silent and helpless, blinking out over the footlights of an empty auditorium.”
Revolutionary Road, Richard Yates
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the house-tops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
Paul Clifford, Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1830)
“In an old house in Paris that was covered with vines lived twelve little girls in two straight lines.”
Madeline, Ludwig Bemelmans
“Chug, chug, chug. Puff, puff, puff. Ding-dong, ding-dong.”
The Little Engine that Could, Watty Piper
“It was so glorious out in the country; it was summer; the cornfields were yellow, the oats were green, the hay had been put up in stacks in the green meadows, and the stork went about on his long red legs, and chattered Egyptian, for this was the language he had learned from his good mother.”
The Ugly Duckling, Hans Christian Anderson
3. Question
Ask a question, either to the reader or rhetorically, because after you raise this question, the reader may have the same one. Then they’ll have to read on to find the answer, or they’ll be curious enough about your writing that they’ll continue.
“In case you hadn’t noticed, you have a mental dialogue going on inside your head that never stops. It just keeps going and going. Have you ever wondered why it talks in there? How does it decide what to say and when to say it?”
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, Michael A Singer
Where now? Who now? When now?
The Unnamable, Samuel Beckett (1953; trans. Patrick Bowles)
What if this young woman, who writes such bad poems, in competition with her husband, whose poems are equally bad, should stretch her remarkably long and well-made legs out before you, so that her skirt slips up to the tops of her stockings?
Imaginative Qualities of Actual Things, Gilbert Sorrentino (1971)
4. Dear reader
Communicate directly to the reader. Include them in the story from the get-go. If you’re speaking to them, how can they possibly ignore you? Right?
“If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.”
The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
“If you’re going to read this, don’t bother.”
Choke, Chuck Palahniuk
“If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book.”
A Series of Unfortunate Events, Lemony Snicket
“You are about to begin reading Italo Calvino’s new novel, If on a winter’s night a traveler.”
If on a winter’s night a traveler, Italo Calvino (1979; trans. William Weaver)
5. Statement
A confident statement or fact that is emphasised by a loud full stop at the end (yes, that’s right – I am deciding right here and now that full stops can be loud).
The statement may be something intriguing or surprising. Perhaps something doubtful that the reader questions the validity of. Or even something that immediately makes them roll their eyes.
“There was no possibility of taking a walk that day.”
Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë (1847)
“It was love at first sight.”
Catch-22, Joseph Heller
“All children, except one, grow up.”
Peter Pan, JM Barrie
“This time there would be no witnesses.”
Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, Douglas Adams
6. Generalisation
A generalised opinion. It could be your opinion, the character’s, or even the narrator’s. It’s up to you!
Make it scandalous. Make it intriguing. Or make it straight-up obvious.
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”
Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen (1813)
“All stories are love stories.”
Eureka Street, Robert McLiam Wilson
“Conventions, like clichés, have a way of surviving their own usefulness.”
Desert of the Heart, Jane Rule
“It’s a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.”
Matilda, Roald Dahl
“Everybody knows the story of the Three Little Pigs. Or at least they think they do. But I’ll let you in on a little secret. Nobody knows the real story, because nobody has ever heard my side of the story. I’m the Wolf.”
The True Story of the Three Little Pigs, Jon Scieszka
7. Unexpected change
I casual statement that takes an unusual turn. I love these – they surprise you, and they’re often funny.
They could be: an offensive or bold line that makes it seem like you’re going to contradict it… by then you agree; a character sharing their first opinion of something (e.g. “At first glance it would seem…, but actually…”); or something common (like waking up) that does not take you where you expected it to…
“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.”
Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka (1915)
‘The snow in the mountains was melting and Bunny had been dead for several weeks before we came to understand the gravity of our situation.”
The Secret History, Donna Tartt (1992)
“Someone was looking at me, a disturbing sensation if you’re dead.”
A Certain Slant of Light, Laura Whitcomb
“This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.”
The Princess Bride, William Goldman
“The story so far: in the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Douglas Adams (1980)
“The sun shone, having no alternative, on the nothing new.”
Murphy, Samuel Beckett (1938)
8. Time and date
For when knowing the date or time is important. Does the character have a deadline? Will they die today? Tomorrow? WHY SUCH URGENCY?! The reader simply must read on to find out.
Or are you introducing the story from another time? Maybe the character is retelling a story from their past, in which case it’s good to set the scene to draw the reader in.
Or, as with the common fairytale opening, maybe you just want to let the reader know that the story and characters existed ‘once upon a time’.
“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.”
1984, George Orwell (1949)
“Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.”
One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez (1967; trans. Gregory Rabassa)
“One sunny Sunday, the caterpillar was hatched out of a tiny egg. He was very hungry.”
The very Hungry Caterpillar, Eric Carle
“Mother died today. Or maybe, yesterday; I can’t be sure.”
The Outsider, Albert Camus (1942)
“Once upon a time…”
Grimm’s Fairy Tales, Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm
“It was seven o’clock of a very warm evening in the Seeonee hills when Father Wolf woke up from his day’s rest, scratched himself, yawned, and spread out his paws one after the other to get rid of the sleepy feeling in their tips.”
The Jungle Book, Rudyard Kipling
“Once there was a little girl called Sophie. She was having tea with her mummy in the kitchen. Suddenly there was a ring at the door. Sophie’s mummy said ‘I wonder who that could be?'”
The Tiger Who Came to Tea, Judith Kerr
9. Speech
When a story begins with the character speaking, you immediately get an understanding of the characters, tone or setting – and sometimes all three.
“‘You better not never tell nobody but God. It’d kill your mammy.'”
The Color Purple, Alice Walker (1982)
“‘What’s it going to be then, eh?'”
A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess
“‘Where’s Papa going with that axe?’ said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast.”
Charlotte’s Web, E.B. White
“‘Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents,’ grumbled Jo, lying on the rug.”
Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
What about you?
Do you have trouble writing first lines or do you like writing first lines? Or do you have trouble writing first lines but like doing it anyway? Let me know!
And if you have any first lines you love and would like to share, please do! See if they fit into one of the categories mentioned above.
References
The Concise Guide to Copy Editing
If you like lists…
- 10 Tips for Writing Worldbuilding
- 5 Reasons to Read Fantasy
- 7 Things I Do to Think of Story Ideas
- 5 Ways to Create Tension in Your Story
- 5 Ways Gaming Helps Writers
- 15 Words to Be Wary Of
- 5 Common Grammar Mistakes
- 4 Types of Narrative in Games