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I’ve put together a list of 15 words to be wary of. These words are superfluous. Try cutting them out. If your sentence still makes sense and has the same meaning, leave them out. Going through this list will help you cut down your word count, and write sharper and more succinct sentences.
1. By
By often indicates writing in the passive voice. Using the active voice is much more engaging in storytelling. Active voice gives the sentence more immediacy. Active also usually means shorter sentences, and therefore faster pacing. You can see the difference in the example below:
- The shop was opened by Michael. (Passive)
- Michael opened the shop. (Active).
2. Of the
The two words, of the, can slow the pace of a sentence. Consider the following examples:
- The owner of the book.
- The book owner.
- The first of the arrivals.
- The first arrival.
- The leader of the group.
- The group leader.
These sentences contain the same information, but less words.
3. Others
Delete others. Does the sentence still make sense? If so, leave it out. For example:
- I opened most of the letters today, but four others remain on my desk.
- I opened most of the letters today, but four remain on my desk.
- Three of the criminals had been arrested, but three others had escaped.
- Three of the criminals had been arrested, but three had escaped.
4. Both
If you’re already mentioning both the things you refer to in the sentence, you don’t need to repeat yourself. Here are some examples:
- Both Monday and Tuesday were booked out.
- Monday and Tuesday were booked out.
- Both Mia and Rose said they couldn’t stay late because they had work tomorrow.
- Mia and Rose said they had work tomorrow and couldn’t stay late.
5. New
Do you need to mention that something is new? If you have new boots, maybe, but not for new information. If you’re learning something, it’s assumed the information is new. I’ve cut new from the following examples:
- The new report showed a rise in housing prices.
- The report showed a rise in housing prices.
- There had been no new developments in the court case.
- There had been no developments in the court case.
6. Started/began
Get straight to the action by stating what the character is doing. Not what they’re starting to do. Consider these examples and remember to use the active voice:
- She began to pack up.
- She packed up.
- They started to do their homework.
- They did their homework.
7. Suddenly
Suddenly slows sentences and makes sudden incidents less sudden. In the following examples, consider which sentence seems more sudden:
- Suddenly, there was a dragon flying overhead.
- A dragon suddenly flew overhead.
- A dragon flew overhead.
In the last sentence the pacing is faster and the reader finds out the information quicker, therefore making it more sudden. Cutting this word has helped my writing so much. Short, sharp sentences are more sudden and convey more of the characters’ surprise than using suddenly.
8. That
That is one of the most important words to be wary of. When you do a search and find for that, it will surprise you how often it appears. That appears too frequently in my writing, and usually it’s superfluous. Delete that. Sentences sound much better without the unnecessary word, as per the following examples:
- She told me that the weather would be worse tomorrow.
- She told me the weather would be worse tomorrow.
- Everyone thought that I was a liar.
- Everyone thought I was a liar.
9. There
Remove there were/there are/there was. For example:
- There was no issue with the plumbing.
- The plumbing had no issue.
- There are nine people yet to arrive.
- Nine people are yet to arrive.
10. Then
I used then way too much when I was younger. I haven’t used it as much since, but it still sneaks into my writing sometimes. It’s assumed actions occur in the order they’re mentioned. It only adds repetition and slows pacing to use then. If you can’t remove then and still have the sentence make sense, try swapping then for and. I’ve included some examples below:
- I dropped the bag on my foot, then bent to pick it up.
- I dropped the bag on my foot and bent to pick it up.
- She waved at Ronald. He waved back and then they left to go to the beach.
- She waved at Ronald. He waved back and they left to go to the beach.
11. Just
Just just adds to your word length without adding anything to the sentence. Be wary of how often you use it. Here are some examples with just removed:
- I was just leaving now.
- I’m leaving now.
- I just fixed the dishwasher.
- I fixed the dishwasher.
- They weren’t going to just sit there doing nothing.
- They weren’t going to sit there doing nothing.
Just can show up too many times, especially in dialogue. Even if you don’t delete all of them, cut the amount down so not every character is “just on their way” somewhere or talking about “just the other day”.
12. Really
Really? Do you need really? You can choose more creative words than really fast, or really big. For example:
- The cat ran away really fast.
- The cat swiftly skittered away.
- The horse was really big.
- The horse was huge.
Sometimes you can delete really without needing a replacement:
- She was really going to be in trouble.
- She was going to be in trouble.
There’s no right or wrong way of describing something, although some descriptions are better than others. Some writers create beautiful descriptions – so beautiful I could read an entire book of only descriptions. There are many more possible word choices to describe situations without using really.
13. Very
Very is very similar to really and can be deleted. Swap very with more creative word choices. For example:
- I am very tired.
- I am exhausted.
- They didn’t like me being very loud.
- They didn’t like me being boisterous.
- He was running very fast.
- He was sprinting.
14. Which/that
Which and that aren’t words to delete, but to be wary of how you’re using them. They’ve confused me many times. So, how do you know when to use which and when to use that?
Consider the information after which/that. Is it something vital to the sentence? This is a defining clause. If so, use that. If the information is interesting but not vital, use which. This is a non-defining clause.
- Defining clause = necessary information = use that.
- Non-defining clause = additional information = use which.
Consider the following examples:
- The gift voucher that she’d received for her birthday had expired.
- The gift voucher, which she’d received for her birthday, had expired.
You need to decide which part of the sentence needs more emphasis. That she received the gift voucher for her birthday (that) or that the gift voucher was expired (which)?
- The cookies that he had forgotten about were burnt.
- The cookies, which he had forgotten about, were burnt.
Is it more important for the reader to know that he forgot about the cookies (that) or that the cookies were burnt (which)?
15. Only
The placement of only can change the meaning of a sentence. Be wary of whether you’re using the words only had or had only. Some examples are below:
- She only had two kilometres left to run.
This could be read as “she was the only one who had two kilometres left to run”. The sentence is better phrased as:
- She had only two kilometres left to run.
This highlights two kilometres as the part of the sentence only refers to.
The two sentences below have the only and had swapped. One refers to only he, and the other to only four grapes.
- He only had four grapes and a squished sandwich in his lunch box.
- He had only four grapes and a squished sandwich in his lunch box.
It makes a difference
Be wary of these words! When I either cut or pay more attention to how I’m using these words I notice a difference in my writing. Sentences are to-the-point and punchier. Sometimes I need to go back through my writing to see where these words have snuck in without me realising. The more I delete, the better and clearer my writing becomes.
I hope you found this post helpful and can cut these words from your writing too. Don’t repeat yourself by using words that add nothing to the sentence. If there are other words you delete from your writing, or are wary of using, please leave a comment and let me know.